Octoberfest
by Aspen-SiredBySpike
Summary: A collection of October and Autumn themed oneshots.
1. Swan Dive

**A/N: I know you all voted for famous quotes for my next oneshot series, and I do intend to do that- but currently I'm in an Halloweeny mood. I'm working on the next chapter for Rise Of The Reaper (which will be up by October 31st), I just got sidetracked by my own personal writing for awhile. I have no intention of abandoning it or my fics. But right now, you're going to be hit with a 10 chapter October/Autumn themed series. I give you_ Octoberfest_!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.**

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**Swan Dive**

"Bella, don't even think about it."

Bella narrowed her eyes, a smirk eclipsing her face.

"Bella, no." Edward warned, narrowing his eyes right back at her.

She paid him no heed as she bolted forward, swan diving head first into the huge pile of leaves.

Edward glanced down at the rake in his hand, all his not-so-hard work ruined.

"Oh well," He shrugged, tossing the garden tool to the ground. "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em."

Dashing ahead, he cannonballed into the leaves, causing Bella to shriek.


	2. Supernatural Allergies

**A/N: I forgot to mention in my last author's note that I may reuse ideas from previous years, but put a new twist on them (corn maze, etc.). Also, expect one update a day for the next ten days (all the chapters are already written). And please excuse the poor spacing of the titles of a few of these. I already have all 10 uploaded and the titles refuse to center fo some readson. Stupid . Now, remember making these? They're so fun...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.**

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**Supernatural Allergies**

"_Ah-ah-achoo!_"

"Emmett..."

"Yes, Alice?"

"That better not have been one of my Kleenex ghost decorations that you just sneezed into. I need twenty to decorate the staircase, and I don't have any extra."

Emmett gazed at the two black sequins blinking up at him, sitting above an elastic band neckline and a permanent marker mouth.

"Oops."


	3. Another One Bites The Dust

**A/N: If this one is confusing, just tell me and I'll try to clear things up.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.**

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**Another One Bites The Dust**

It was almost Halloween night. For hours, Jasper and Rosalie have been lounging in front of the television, watching as old, sketchy vampires and werewolves chased down innocent girls.

It was finally getting to them.

"Rose?"

"Yeah, Jazz?"

"Why are we in black and white?" He asked, glancing down at his used-to-be-red shirt.

"Because it's cooler this way." She replied, locking her eyes on the screen just in time to see Van Helsing turn another vampire to ash.

She tsked. "Another one bites the dust."


	4. Bone Daddy

**A/N: A piece for all you Carlisle lovers out there!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.**

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**Bone Daddy**

"Aha!"

"What?"

"These two fit."

"No, they don't."

"What do you mean _no they don't_?"

"Look here," Carlisle pointed out. "These two are the same, meaning they go on opposite sides, not next to each other."

"But that funny shaped one goes over there!" Alice protested.

"Oh."

"Note to self," Edward muttered, "Next Halloween, force Esme to buy skeletons that are already put together."

"Yeah, these are impossible!" Alice exclaimed. "When a doctor can't even assemble one, you know something is wrong."

Carlisle smiled sheepishly.


	5. Hollowed Out

**A/N: The most difficult part of pumpkin carving...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.**

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**Hollowed Out**

_Scrape! Scrape! Scrape!_

"Why won't you come out?" Esme groaned, narrowing her eyes.

_Scrape! Scrape! Scrape!_

"Must you be so stubborn?

_Scrape! Scrape! Scrape!_

"I'll help you, mom."

_Scratch!_

"Emmett!" Esme cried out. "You ruined my pumpkin!"

Sitting in front of her, the once nearly-smooth pumpkin had been hollowed out, big out-dented fingerprints lining the surface.

"Well, you weren't getting anywhere with it." Emmett protested, dropping the orangey guts he was holding onto the spread out garbage bag. "Honestly, did you think you could really gut it with that thing?"

Esme looked down at the tiny plastic scoop in her hand. "Well, it was better than killing the gourd.

Emmett rolled his eyes. "Whatever."


	6. Fresh Or Fake

**A/N: Even though this one is so predictable, it's too much fun to pass up.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.**

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**Fresh or Fake**

"Eugh!"

"What is it, Rose?"

"This blood tastes like corn syrup." She complained, glaring down at the cup in her hand. "It was in the fridge... It should be fresh."

"Beats me." Alice shrugged.

"Hey, has anyone seen my fake blood?" Jasper asked, emerging from the kitchen. "I need to test it out before Halloween. It may be too thick or thin and I'll have to alter the recipe."

Handing the cup to Alice, Rosalie made the motion of looking sick before running for the bathroom.

"Here it is!" Alice said helpfully, handing it to Jasper.

He sighed and rolled his eyes, taking his blood back to the kitchen.


	7. Seasonal Serenade

**A/N: I love this song...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.**

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**Seasonal Serenade**

"On the twelfth day of Halloween my vampire gave to me: twelve jack-o-lanterns, eleven creepy tombstones, ten bags of candy corn, nine crazy costumes, eight carmel apples, seven waxy candles, six decorations, five old coffins!" Taking a deep breath, Bella prepared to finish off her serenade. "Four vampire bats, three ugly werewolves, two tubes of fake blood-"

"And one human trick-or-treater just for me!" Edward cut in, grinning widely. "S, to what do I owe the pleasure, Bella?"

"Well, Alice said that if I didn't sing to you, I wouldn't get any candy." Bella explained, waving around her fairy wand for emphasis.

"Huh?" Edward scrunched up his face in confusion. "Why wouldn't I give you candy?"

"She said she had a vision."

"I lied."

Bella looked past Edward to see Alice standing at the bottom of the stair case, holding a video camera. "And now I have black mail to shop material for life. "Thanks, Bella!"

The couple just glared.


	8. Bootiful

**A/N: Don't really have anythign to say about this one, except that on a side note, you will see the next Rise Of The Reaper chapter before Halloween.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.**

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**Bootiful**

"Boo."

"What are you supposed to be?"

"... A ghost."

"You look like a bed sheet."

"That's kind of the point."

"Bella, if you wear that thing, how do you expect people to know who you are?"

"I don't, Edward. I feel stupid enough going out at this age anyway."

"You're seventeen. Live a little."

"Says the dead guy."

Sighing, Edward reached out, and pulled the sheet away from Bella, leaving her standing in her normal clothed. "But what if I want to see your beautiful face?" He asked, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear.

"Then I can go costume-less while you go as..." She trailed off, looking at him hard. "What are you, exactly?"

"Romeo," He replied, taking her hand up to meet his lips. "Now go upstairs and change into your Juliet costume while I burn this _ghost costume_."

Knowing she wasn't going to win, Bella stomped off upstairs, muttering "Curse Alice for buying us matching costumes."


	9. Tooth Terror

**A/N: For all of the Carlisle lovers... I so think his mind works this way.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.**

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**Tooth Terror**

_Chomp! Chomp!_

_Chew!_

_Crunch!_

_Crinkle!_

_Crackle!_

"Ow! Toothache!" Bella cried out, holding a hand up to her jaw.

Looking from the girl and her almost empty plastic pumpkin to the mass on candy wrappers on the floor, Carlisle shook his head in amazement. How could such a tiny girl throw back so much candy?

This time of year makes me so happy that I chose med school over dentistry." He sighed in relief, splitting to the kitchen so he wouldn't be asked to perform an emergency surgery for a sugar bolis in the stomach. He had worked on Easter. Halloween was his holiday off.


	10. Tangled In Love

**A/N: So, this is the end of this series. Thought I'd end it on a fluffy note. See the following post to read about my next series (trust me you'll want to).**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters.**

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**Tangled In Love**

"Grr! Why did Alice give _me_ the job of hanging the fake spider webs?" Bella groaned, flailing her arms around in a poor attempt to untangle herself.

"Who knows with Alice," Edward shook his head. "And stop doing that! You're only making it worse."

Sighing in annoyance, Bella dropped her arms to her sides, letting Edward take over the task of getting her out of her white cotton prison.

After working diligently for a couple of minutes, Edward halted in his tracks.

"Why did you stop?" Bella asked, glaring. She just wanted out already.

"I was just thinking..."

"About?"

"I was thinking that it would be much easier to have my way with you if you were still tied up."

Before she could reply, Edward was dipping her backwards, peppering kissed all over her face before planting his lips firmly on hers. Only when he heard the almost silent sounds of her gasping for air did he pull back.

"Happy Halloween, Bella." He whispered in her ear.

"Happy Halloween, Edward. Now, untie me before I set Esme on you."

"Yes ma'am."


	11. NEW SERIES

**All Request Live**

So, I scrapped the famous quotes idea (for now, that is) for an all request fic. This is how it's going to go:

Send me a pm containing a character (only the main 8 please: Edward, Bella, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Carlisle, Esme) and what you wish me to write them as.

Example: Doctor Edward.

Example 2: Pop Star Rosalie.

Two words is all I need.

I will choose the best 50 and turn them into a series of one-shots. Sound good? I think so.

The character torment starts now.


End file.
